US$10

So two weeks ago I was PMT-ing pretty badly and paying some Indian astrologer over the internet to tell me when I'd get married. I've finally received the report - a week after it was supposed to have arrived - not a good omen, on hindsight. Here're the key snippets from the report, for your reading pleasure:

The good news...

"denotes love marriage for the native which would be happy ... indicates approval from parents as well" (that's nice)

"assures a happy married life for the native"

...and then the bad news (in ascending order)...

"rules out the immediate realization of your query"

"points to certain delays and hindrances for your marriage" (hmm...)

"also some cause for concern" (okay...)

"a delay of one to two years for your marriage" (getting hitched at 28 ain't too bad)

(and again) "indicates a delay of a year or so for you to settle down in marriage"

"indicates that marriage is influenced by relations (eh??) and comes through correspondence or advertisement" (really can't imagine that)

"It also indicates difficulty in choosing a partner" (didn't have to pay to know that)

"usually delays marriage till around the late 70's." (late 2070s? or when I'm in my late 70s? either way, NOT GOOD)

Oh well, what the hell. At least now I know and never have to worry about it. And I can go off and pursue all sorts of activities that would be "irresponsible" if I were a married person. Like being unemployed or engaging in extreme sports such as doing water jumps out of a plane. Bright side of things people!