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Do you know what annoys me?

The use of the word "gals". (It galls me.)

NOBODY uses the word "gals" in their day-to-day conversations, so why do so many feel compelled to use it as a substitute for "girls" or "ladies" or "friends" when conveyed in a text message, or e-mail, or caption for a photo on facebook?

You know what else annoys me?

SNOW.


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Maybe it's because I'm not American.

Click, scroll, read, frown, cringe, gasp, suspend that last breath, feel your heart beat in time with the words, rush to finish it, then slowly exhale. Perhaps I would have felt faint if I hadn't already expected it. But like a tattoo, the pain only lasted as long as the experience. And then it's just... a fact.

Not my favourite - or a favourite, but thought I should share it as it appears to have gained some sort of "cult-like status". Hmm.


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(Fire drill.)


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Why you shouldn't suck face with a vacuum cleaner.


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(bored@lunch)

One day I would like to risk being spat on and have a photo of me taken with a South American camelid (llama, alpaca, I don't discriminate) and an Andean caldera volcano in the background. Hopefully by then I would have figured out how to pronounce "Cotopaxi".

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It's okey maam.

The Filipinos are such an incredibly friendly and patient people, and that's just on e-mail (and, well, the really nice service staff at a lot of shops and restaurants here who should totally slap the faces of their incredibly rude and condescending Shitsporean colleagues). I'll probably try and pick up some Tagalog before I go, if not for anything else then to discombobulate all the Caucasian or Japanese tourists who are bound to think that I'm a local there. Plus it's pretty slow in the office these days. La la la...


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