Icky Poo.

All my joints are creaking. Even my jaw clicks when I yawn. My clothes smell of food court (totally irrelevant). It's 2006 in 24 days, 8 hours and 44 minutes. I will be 24 in 105 days, 17 hours and 31 minutes. Out of the estimated 100,000 eggs that each female human is typically born with, I have only 99,856 left. Here's a tribute to my fleeting youth and puerile minds everywhere:

RUDE TONGUE TWISTERS

I am not the pheasant plucker,

I'm the pheasant plucker's mate.

I am only plucking pheasants

Because the pheasant plucker's late.

I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit;

and on the slitted sheet I sit.

One smart fellow;

he felt smart.

Two smart fellows;

they felt smart.

Three smart fellows;

they all felt smart.

I'm not the fig plucker,

Nor the fig pluckers' son,

But I'll pluck figs

Till the fig plucker comes.

Fire truck tyres

Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.

Not a punt cut square,

Just a square cut punt.

It's round in the stern and blunt in the front.

Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.

Six stick shifts stuck shut.

Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers.

(I'm still trying to work out what's rude about the last two...)